Something Resembling Lemonade

Father’s Day weekend was a lot harder than I was ready for… of course, I guess you’re never ready. I started getting emotional the Thursday before. I wasn’t particularly thinking about things and my life. I guess my brain, my body, my emotions… they just knew. It was one of those, you’re sad and weepy and it just comes from nowhere. No warning! It’s just there, But… that’s grief. I’m no expert on grief. I’ve just learned.

I reached out to some pastor friends (the ones who spoke at his funeral) for ideas on how to handle the upcoming Father’s Day. In the end, I decided to take my children and go somewhere. So we loaded up the car and headed out Sunday. Normally, I wouldn’t miss church by choice. He would never have wanted that. It’s not like we were trying to run away from our grief. Unfortunately, you can’t do that. I also know I can’t shelter my children from this day, but it was too fresh and with their dad being the pastor there, it was just too hard. Church is hard anyway. I also didn’t want people feeling as if they had to tiptoe around us and it ruin their day as well.

We left Sunday for a 2 night stay at The Battle House (thanks RSA). We left early and stopped for brunch at The Ruby Slipper. It was amazing and he would have loved all the options there. It was delicious. I highly recommend it. After lunch, we went to see the new Jurassic World Dominion movie. He would’ve loved seeing a movie with his family too. After the movie, we checked in our hotel and went swimming for a few hours. Before bed, we played a quick game of Scrabble… his favorite!

It was a perfect day to an imperfect situation (well almost perfect- he’s not here). We missed him! After all, this day is about Father’s. He was the best. I tried to let my children have a good time and find ways to honor him by doing things he would’ve loved.

While this weekend was not about me, I will say that I stepped out of my comfort zone and did all this on my own. I drove to an unknown place and I even parallel parked in downtown Mobile. I know that’s not a big deal for some people, but this whole weekend away was a big step for me and I was thrilled with the little victories and that my anxiety did not control me. Thank you Lord for your provision and for the little things. Thank you for allowing us to have a nice weekend away honoring the greatest father and man.